I've been trying real hard lately to be disciplined and more intentional about spending time alone with God. This is hard for me. I've never been good at it. I get bored, I get distracted, or I drift off deliberating on what it is I have to accomplish during the week, instead of sitting in God's Presence.
This morning, I caught myself wondering again, but in a different way. And I want to address it.
It is my opinion, that too often we Christians spend our time alone with God trying to convince ourselves of something we do not truly believe. And when I say "believe", I am not attacking your foundational conviction that the God of the Bible is real and sent His Son to die for us all. I am addressing the day in, day out, belief that God is who He says He is.
So at 7am this morning, as I watched the rain fall on the tail-end of Autumn, I asked myself, what if? What if God truly is the Pursuer of my soul? What if I actually believed that God is the Wooer of my heart? What if Matthew 10:30 was real to me?...that God cares for me so intimately that He knows how many hairs are on my head? How would that make my life look different?
Would I still have as many worries and concerns or would my burdens be lightened because I would trust what God says about me over what I or my friend say about me? How would my relationships look different? Would I be more patient and loving with people, or would I continue to not live past my nose when my circumstances get hard and life is "unfair"?
Is it that simple? Not easy, but simple? Is that what Jesus meant when He said that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to children (Matt. 19:14)? Because kids just trust? Because kids don't worry about next week or next year. Because kids are only aware of today and they're okay with that.
So....do I really believe God is who He says He is.
I think if I did, I'd be strong. I could be a leader. I could handle sadness and not get depressed. I would utilize self-control. I would think of others more. I wouldn't fear being alone for the rest of my life. I'd see Death as a swinging door. Nature would be more beautiful to me. I would be bold. I would be humbled.
Don Miller once stated that Christian Spirituality cannot be explained, it can only be experienced. And I agree. I want my time alone with God to be an experience. I want the God of the Bible to tear up all of my formulas and ravage my heart. I want to preach God to people without using words. I want to show you Love when I am down-trodden and weak of heart.
I want to let God be in my life who He says He is.
You know, I think that being in Gods presence isn't or shouldn't be something that has to be worked on with meticulous stubborn disciplin.
ReplyDeleteI think it can be simple. But people generally tend to make things complecated. We tend to get into those internal dialogues with our egos, trying to justify this or that and getting all selfrighteous.
Don't get me wrong, details are not always bad, but you know what they say about the devil and the detail.
It's easy to loose yourself - even with disciplin.
Nicola Tesla once said:
“The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane.”
I think this is easily applicable to anything in life. Especially in our time and age, thinking "clearly" seems to be a novelty.
There are so many distractions, so much interference and noise, so much useless information - it's tough to stay centered and clearheaded.
Now, I don't want to go into too much detail myself, and I'll try to keep my train of thought simple here - although it's obviously a huge topic.
I think disciplin qualifies as s double-edged sword. When I come to think of it, probably anything and everything qualifies as such.
It's all a matter of keeping the balance.
In fact, I'd say that the key to all of this is finding your center.
People have forgotten how to do so, how to listen to their hearts, how to listen to others, how to listen to nature and therefore how to listen to God.
I think it's all interconnected, although some people try to seperate all this and try to persue a close relationship to their God with complete disregard of themselves, others and nature.
That's a very selfrightious approach and anything but realistic. It's selfrightious and codependent, and a codependent relationship is never a healthy one.
Being self aware, independent and shining in your own light is not something to be frowned upon.
Isn't that what parents are trying to teach their children (or should at least)? To be independent, to be true individuals (as in "undividable") to stand their ground and be grounded?
It's what a true parent or God would want his children to be.
Yet most of the time we see ourselves as powerless victims, slaves of causalities, as people who need to be saved. We are afraid of taking responsibilities and standing in our own truth.
We've been conditioned that way, politicaly, sociologically and religiously. And we are continually conditioning ourselves to stay that way.
Now I have to say that I do not belong to any religion myself, although I did in the past, but I do believe that this notion of God is not something fictional but something rather real.
Do I believe in the God of the Bible? Well, yes and no, but that's another huge topic.
And I should probably come to an end here.
God, by definition, is in everything that encompasses us. So by being actually aware of the sacredness of it all, one automatically stands in Gods presence.
Everything is life and light, yet we still think we stand in the dark. We need to realize that we aren't. Realize it not just intellectually, but actually, in "experience" as you stated.
Sometimes the things you look for only reveal themselves when you stop searching.
Alright, that's just my two cents anyway.
I didn't mean to write a novel here although I could have written a lot more, but anyway, sorry about that, your post just kinda sparked my interest.