"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good..."
It hits me.
It hits me like a ton of bricks and I am wrecked and I am humbled.
We all carry grief, dear friends. Brokenness, hate, resentment, anger, fury, spite, whatever it may be... We are human and we have a great capacity to hurt. And even though our pain can seem overwhelming, unfair and even cruel at times, our capacity to love is far greater than that.
I read this scripture of Joseph's story and I feel whole and I feel honest.
And it's hard as hell to get here....to where Joseph was. Humbled and subservient to the Lord. But I can tell you one thing, he didn't get here because he tried hard enough or cared enough about it. He got here because of who God is in Him. He got here because he sat in the presence of the Lord and he gave up. He saw His heart. He felt His heart, and despite all of Joseph's anger, righteous anger at that, he wept (Gen. 50:17).
He forgave.... and he loved.
May we all seek to be humbled and feel God's love like Joseph. May we seek to touch the Lord's glorious redeeming robe.
"I could hear my heart beating,
I could hear everyone's heart.
I could hear the human noise we sat there making,
not one of us moping, not even when the room went dark."
- Raymond Carver, 1938-1988