Wednesday, January 26, 2011

What's hard.

You know what's difficult? Well, one: being honest with yourself and others sometimes, and two: really and truly believing that God has you in His hand. no matter what.

It's really tough right now for me. The entertainment industry can be like high school with its pettiness and politics. It's terrible. I live in it every day. In my mind, I battle being who i'm called to be. Outwardly, people don't see it, but inwardly it's a constant strife to be the best me. I find my thoughts escaping to a world of jealousy, or impatience, or the misconception that i have to do certain things i really don't want to do in order to reach my career goals. Like i said, high school. And what a silly way to exist.

You would think that by 28, i'd have this whole bone of contention figured out. I'm a hip hop dancer who doesn't like going to the bougie clubs where all the dancers hang out, who doesn't toke up (so always feel like the nerd left out in high school), who doesn't have sex (oooo....dear God! aren't i a prude!), and who doesn't feel like i need to be someone i'm not. My prayer and hope for myself, for my friends, and for the future friends i've yet to meet, is that we'd be a believing people who value serving God over ourselves and Man. no bullshit about it. it's difficult. i know it is. i didn't know God until i was 20. i've led a completely different life full of immodesty and shame that i wish never to struggle with again. but my hope is in what God did for me, thankfully, not in what i can do for Him. and if you don't believe in the God of the Bible, then i hope whatever your belief is, that you value it and trust in things beyond a compromising society that's full of cracks. that you seek truth and a better and deeper understanding of what this thing called Life is all about. what a shame if you never cared.

"Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to tremendous difficulties."
Charles H. Spurgeon


  1. I don't consider myself religious, but find your faith uplifting. Like 2Pac says, "keep yo head up." You are what fathers hope their daughters become.

  2. that is the best compliment i've ever received jake. your words came at a time when they were most needed. thank you for that.

  3. It's the hand we clasp with an honest grasp
    That gives a hearty thrill;
    It's the good we pour into others' lives
    That comes back our own to fill.
    It's the dregs we drain from another's cup
    That makes our own seem sweet;
    And the hours we give to another's need
    That makes our life complete.

    It's the burdens we help another bear
    That makes our own seem light.
    It's the anger seen for another's feet
    That shows us the path to right.
    It's the good we do each passing day,
    With a heart sincere and true;
    In giving the world your very best
    It's best will return to you.