needs to go away.
i was sittin here tonight watchin TV and my mind drifted away to all the worries and anxieties that i've been thinking about lately. should i move to LA? where does God want me to go? praying that i'm in right standing with him...that i'm enough out of his way to hear his voice before everyone else's as well as my own. i've been pondering over my future quite often lately. this pondering has led to meditation/prayer, as well as worrying and misunderstanding.
and as i sat here tonight i was thinking about the "nets" we're called to cast down for God and follow him. i've been figurin that my net is my fear. my biggest passion is performing, i LOVE the stage, but it is also my biggest fear...caring about what people think about me. and i was thinking about God and telling him that i've casted down my fear! i'm ready to roll. i want to run with him. this thirst i have was leaving me anxious. and then something simple yet crucial hit me.
what i'm called to lay down for God isn't my fear.
my way of thinking, my life style, and circumstances have led me to see it that way, but it is untrue.
my net is my misunderstanding. we have no clue who God is. because if we knew, really knew who God is,
we wouldn't fear.
we wouldn't be anxious.
we would trust.
and that's one hell of a slap. because it's not easy, and it's not kind all the time. there are a lot of things God wants us to lay down that we don't want to. but oh the joy that he gives us. the adventure, the freedom. to be who we were created to be and do what we were created to do. when i look at something arresting, like a sunset over mountains and know that God cares more about us than such a site, it is not unkind. it is his perfect love. it is the reason for living. to enjoy what he has given us and run with him.