trust.

i try to do something everyday to keep, or sometimes, get me connected with God. i'll read, i'll go on a walk, i'll listen to a song and think about it, i'll listen and love a friend, i'll take a minute and sit quietly, or i'll put on some meditation music and think about one word. lately the word has been Peace.

today i read something that i thought i'd share.

When we are in fear we can do nothing less than pray to God, but our Lord has a right to expect that those who name His name should have an understanding confidence in Him. God expects His children to be so confident in Him that in any crisis they are the reliable ones. Our trust is in God up to a certain point, then we go back to the elementary panic prayers of those who do not know God. We get to our wits' end, showing that we have not the slightest confidence in Him and His government of the world; He seems to be asleep, and we see nothing but breakers ahead.

"O you of little faith." What a bullet must have shot through the disciples. And what a bullet will go through us when we suddenly realize that we might have produced downright joy in the heart of God by remaining absolutely confident in Him, no matter what was ahead.

There are stages in life when there is no storm, no crisis, when we do our human best; it is when a crisis arises that we instantly reveal upon whom we rely. If we have been learning to worship God and to trust Him, the crisis will reveal that we will go to the breaking point and not break in our confidence in Him.

- Oswald Chambers

when my dad died, i was faced with this test of Trust pretty hard. my dad died from a car accident. it wasn't a peaceful death. and i have to wake up knowing that God is good and trusting that i don't understand His ways all the time. i think a lot of us are scared of death because we forget or don't know what's on the other side of it.

it hurt.

it still hurts. and always will.

but i can't keep my dad here on earth with me. he's not supposed to be here with me. not anymore. and i have a choice to trust God with it all or not.

i do.

i do today, and i'll have to choose to trust Him again tomorrow.