and i believe some of his answer is found in one of Oswald Chambers works called The Love of God.
"The disciples would have gone to any length to prove their devotion to Jesus. It was true devotion, but it wilted because it was based on an entire ignorance of themselves. In the end they "all forsook Him and fled," not because they wanted to, but because they did not know how to go on. Jesus put the disciples through crises to reveal them to themselves and bring them to the place of receiving the Holy Spirit. They could not see their need to receive the Holy Spirit until they found out that they were spiritual paupers. Jesus allowed Peter to go over a moral precipice and deny that he ever knew Him before Peter realized what it was that kept him from being a disciple. It is not necessary for everyone to go the way of Peter's sifting, but the sifting must come in some form or other. The preaching of the gospel of temperament will not do for the making of disciples; nor will Jesus shield us in the slightest degree from any of the requirements of discipleship."
i'm thankful that God sifts. that he cares enough about us to separate out as much of the bullshit in us as we'll let him. and i'm thankful we struggle. i'm thankful we question and have doubts. i'm thankful we care enough to talk about such problems. and i'm thankful i have friends who are honest and want to fight.